My Tips on Long Distance Relationships

So as you all may or may not, my boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We are ~1080 miles (~1740 kilometres) apart or an approximate flight of 2 hours and 45 minutes. While I can easily say without hesitation that we are in a very loving relationship, we certainly do not have it easy-- much like most long distance relationships. However, there are certainly ways of maintaining a healthy long distance relationship and I thought I'd share a penny or two with you guys.

Before I go into details about what my relationship is like, I'd just like to say that all relationships are different, whether if they're LDR or not. These are merely just things I personally find that keeps mine healthy and working; in no way is this professional advice and applicable for all relationships!



As we you've all probably heard plenty of times before, communication, trust, and patience are key. Now as blasé as that sounds, communication is undeniably one of the most important things in terms of having a relationship (not just LDR) so not only make the time to actually talk to each other about how each others' days are going but also remember to communicate your feelings. Whether if you're happy, anxious, sad, lonely, whatever you may be feeling, let your partner know and encourage them to do the same. This will strengthen your bond as well as help towards eliminating any negativity.

Establishing trust is immensely difficult and once broken, it may permanently be damaged. In a trusting relationship, you should be reliable, be honest, have faith in your partner, and give them the benefit of the doubt (within reason). On top of that, don't put yourself in a circumstance that may tempt you.

Having patience in a long distance relationship incredibly vital. Just note that the patience it takes to wait to see each other and the kind of patience one has for each other in a relationship differs. In a LDR, you cannot be make any physical contact which may be extremely frustrating and to be quite honest, it really is hard to help. However, you may find that focusing your mindset on the bigger picture might just keep you going.

Other than these few key pointers, here are some activities my boyfriend and I do that keeps our relationship fun and healthy:

Watch movies together

Honestly, before I started dating my boyfriend, I didn't really watch a lot of movies. I'd watch a movie probably once a month or two but now, we watch a movie nearly every day while we're on Skype together. We're actually worried since we're running out of things to watch hehe. Not only do we watch Hollywood/American films, we also watch a lot of Korean movies together, which I've always enjoyed. None of my previous exes ever wanted to watch Kdramas or Kmovies with me but Ji enjoys it which is amazing to me.

I'm a super indecisive person so I always let him find and decide what movie for us to watch but if possible, make it a team effort and be adventurous with your movie choices! Switch it up a bit, watch a different genre each time, take turns picking a movie, etc.

Send Gifts

I won't lie, getting my significant other a gift will always be nervewrecking. "What if he doesn't like it?" "What if he won't use it?" "What if he laughs at it?" .. it goes on. Ji and I exchanged presents for Christmas and I've come to realize we kind of have a totally different view on what gifts are. From the way I see it, he thinks gifts should be useful and more practical; the person should be able to make use of it. For me, I think of gifts as more of mementos, specific items to celebrate whatever relationship is shared between two people and hence upon seeing the gift, I should be reminded of the special relation rather than feel inclined to use the gift. HOWEVER, to each their own and I totally respect his view on gifts. I'm not perfect so of course I had to ask around for gift ideas as well as Google gift ideas.

On another note, exchanging scented gifts is great.It wasn't meant to be a gift but I left my hoodie back at his place before I left and he gave me one of his sweaters to hold onto. As a result, we had each others scents with us which was kind of bittersweet.

Skype

This is probably really obvious but nowadays, Skype is super essential for long distance couples. Ji and I try to Skype each other as much as often; even if we have busy schedules with school, work, etc. we Skype every single day for as much as possible.

My guy is the type to pass out almost as soon as his head hits the pillow but we try to dish out a word or two to eachother before dozing off. Most nights, we spend our time telling each other how much we miss each other, yada yada. At times, it may seem really repetitive but after a nice long hard day, ending it with a few sweet words of reassurance certainly does not hurt in the slightest. It is also a nice way of catching up on each other on a daily basis.

Of course, having alone time is important as well; while you're trying to make a lot of time each other, remember to make time for yourselves! Missing your significant other is not a bad thing at all.

Couple Instant Messenger App

We used to always use Facebook to message eachother but we eventually started using a couple app called Between and we love it. There are actually quite a few couple apps out there so if you're planning on using one, make sure you identify the features and read the reviews!

We initially wanted something to display the countdown for the days remaining until I got to see him so we gave Between a test run and have stuck to it since. Other than the countdown, Between is an instant messaging app between couples where we can also send photos, voice clips, and super incredibly cute stickers to each other (I've already spent $15 on their sticker store..) As well, we can upload photos and write notes onto our "Moments".

Play Video Games Together

Take advantage of the internet! Ji and I are both nerds. He studied computer sciences. I studied web development. Together, we're super avid video game players so we spend most of our time playing online games together. Initially, we played lots of League of Legends together but lately, we've been playing a lot of Unturned, which is a survival zombie apocolaypse game. There's something about having our characters run by each other in games that makes me feel even more close to him >-< And even though I'm much more terrible than him at video games, he has what seems like endless patience and for that, I am super blessed.

Keep in mind that when you're playing with your partner, it should completely be in good fun-- don't stress over it! From time to time, I found myself taking the game way too seriously to the point where it wasn't fun anymore. If you ever get to that, take it as a cue to step away from the game for a little! There is no point in playing if you're not having fun and worst of all, arguments might break out!

Make Lists Together

We make little lists for everything. Movies we've watched, places to eat, things to do for our next vacation; it's nice to keep everything recorded either to remind us of things we need to do or things we've accomplished. In a way, it's another way to measure the time we've spent together, in movies or activities (we've spent approximately 145 hours of relationship watching movies together). Looking back at the list from time to time is honestly soooo satisfying, especially when it's gotten super long.

Anyway, I apologize if this has been a long read or if it's something you completely don't agree with. I just wanted to kind of share what my experience has been like as a person currently in a LDR. I hope to make posts more regularly soon (as well as more short and sweet).

BTW, I created the images myself on this post (besides the "Between" screenies), they were super fun to do.